The NFL Just Created A New Stat

As any normal person does on Sunday afternoon, I was watching football. As I am watching the Broncos put the finishing touches on their upset of the Chiefs, CBS flashes a new stat across the screen. "Travis Kelce receiving yards with and without Taylor Swift in attendance." As if she's playing right tackle giving Patrick Mahomes more time to throw or something.

First of all, all the analytical nerds who get rock hard off all their underlying stats are probably fuming the NFL made a new stat without their approval. Second of all, it's getting to the point where Taylor Swift is being forced into every broadcast whether she is in attendance or not. She wasn't even at the game and they had to mention her no less than 5 times, even creating a new stat revolving around her. Everyone pretended to care about this stuff a couple weeks ago. It is silent now. If no one else will do it, I will. This has gone too far and the sanctity of the game of football is in danger and I won't stand for it. No need to thank me. This is a thankless job and I'll do it anyway. Less Taylor, more football.

P.S. Pretend you didn't read this but as much as I hate it, as a fantasy football owner of Travis, perhaps we fly Taylor to all of Travis' games.